Lent, Easter, and Spring

Well. Here we are again. 

 This past month has been full of "anniversaries." 

- The anniversary of my cancer diagnosis

- The anniversary of the COVID-19 shut down

- The anniversary of a number of unjust deaths (with more to come...)

- Another Easter season

- Another spring season...

With these anniversaries, as the weather slowly gets warmer, the leaves on the trees begin to bloom, flowers begin to pop up out of the dirt, and the grass begins to get greener there are a number of ways in which it feels like new life and a sort of personal spring time is coming around too. 

- More and more people are receiving the COVID-19 vaccination

- My last round of infusion therapy is in a few weeks

- Instead of celebrating Easter at home alone in leggings and with a fresh scar from having my chest port put in, we will be celebrating Easter outside with my family - safely interacting, yet still being together after a long winter (and really, year...). 

The signs of new life and hope are becoming more and more present, and yet, signs of death remain. There are still searches for justice. I have to receive scans to check for cancer every 6 months for a couple years, and continue some form of treatment for 5 years. Friends and families are still experiencing separation, whether due to COVID, political beliefs, or a number of other situations... 

Even as signs of new life display themselves we experience and see remaining signs of the brokenness of this world. 

Easter holds space for both of these things. Thank God.

Leading up to Easter, in Lent and Holy Week, we remember the feelings of longing and the desire for things to be made right. We remember loss, and that God is with us in that loss and knows this feeling too. We remember what selfless love looks like. We look forward to the day when death is defeated. When God, in Christ, shows us who God is by loving us to the point of death, and then defying death by raising from the dead - showing us that new life comes from deathy circumstances, even when least expected. 

All of this takes place, and God is in it all. 

There's a reason why one of the names for God is Immanuel (God with us). 

Life is full of simultaneous life and death, and during the Lent/Easter season we get to be reminded that this has been the case for a long time, AND that God is in it with us, knows our groanings, longings, hopes...and that new life is certain to follow.

This by no means promises that after the dark that it will only be light and joy, but that even in the midst of the heavy moments, as we long for new life, we can find hope. 

So, right now, as I await my COVID-19 vaccine, I'm anxious, mourning the losses COVID has caused, AND I'm hopeful that better days are ahead.

As I wait for my final infusion treatment and for the 5 years of hormone therapy to be over, I long for the days before I had cancer AND I'm hopeful for my future and the day when I no longer am receiving treatment. 

 As I long for restorative justice to be the way we approach wrongs, I mourn the losses, I join good work being done, AND I have hope for what we can do together moving forward. 

As we approach Good Friday and wait for Easter, I long for new life, mourn the death of Christ, AND have hope in the resurrection and new life that is to come. 

It is a season for spring - in creation, in the Christian story, and in our own lives. 

Thanks be to God. 

New Life is a painting by Jenny Bagwill, November 22nd, 2017.